Kosciusko Home Care and Hospice nurse Jeanne DeWilde is retiring after 24 and a half years in a very demanding field. She still receives Christmas cards from many families she has served. “I get hugs when I see them around town,” she said. “One family member I get maple syrup from.” She’s also well known by patients and coworkers alike for her baking.

WARSAW — There are few jobs as emotionally challenging as that of a hospice nurse. “Most hospice nurses last five to ten years at most,” said Kim Nance, business development manager at Kosciusko Home Care and Hospice.

Nevertheless, KHCH nurse Jeanne DeWilde has defied the odds. She retires at the end of 2015 after a remarkable 24 and-a-half years helping patients and their loved ones through the trials of dying.

“We feel like we’re losing a close friend,” said Stan Escott, whose wife, Vera, is a patient of DeWilde’s. His statement is indicative of the bond DeWilde has with those under her care, as well as the importance of educating those family members tasked with the often overwhelming work of caregiving. DeWilde, said Escott, exhibited a “combination of medical knowledge and kindness … she was very good at looking at the whole picture.”

“It’s hands on,” explained DeWilde. She teaches personal care: 24 hours a day administering medicines, turning patients over to avoid bed sores, cleaning them so they don’t have discomfort and more.

“You’re helping them cope with learning how to lose a family member.” Often, DeWilde’s first task is an emotional one. “The family is often hopeful the patient is going to live,” she observed. The transition can be difficult, sometimes involving anger before reaching the acceptance stage. But DeWilde is there “holding their hands, talking, being there to bounce ideas off of, to tell them ‘you’re doing the right thing.’”

“She stressed how important the caregiver is,” said Escott. DeWilde made sure he was in good mental and physical shape to care for his wife, emphasizing the need for rest, taking naps so he was alert and responsive to her needs.

“Symptom control” is a term DeWilde often used. The families are often anxious about administering medications, fearing addiction to painkillers for instance, which is also symptomatic of not accepting the reality of death. “You have to explain to them why you’re giving meds, so you’re decreasing anxiety, nausea, pain.”

Others rely on the hospice nurse as well. “Nine out of ten doctors are asking us, ‘What do you want?’” Also, according to DeWilde, “We’re the eyes and ears of social services.” The nurses also help patients connect with other hospices for travel. “You’re not confined to home,” she stated.

In fact, DeWilde has seen many patients with bucket lists. “We encourage short term goals.” NASCAR races, fishing a certain lake or attending a wedding are examples of events very important to a dying person’s quality of life.

But how does she do it, and for 24 years? “Support of spouses is number one,” DeWilde stressed. She met her husband, John, in her native Evansville. “When I’ve had a bad day my husband will listen.” But, she said, he also knows when she just needs space and a box of Kleenex. “Just having someone there … .” Her spirituality is also important. “I wouldn’t have made it without God and the church,” she stated.

The staff at Kosciusko Home Care and Hospice is also supportive. “Our group is the best,” said DeWilde. “We get together, look at books, make sure we’ve tried everything.”

“Sometimes we’re exhausted,” she added. “We want them to get the best care possible.”

The number of patients who will forever think of Jeanne DeWilde as family is proof.