By John ‘Butch’ Dale
Guest Columnist

When you were a youngster, did you write letters to Santa? Well, I guess just about everyone scribbled out something and likely left some treats for jolly old Saint Nicholas. Jere are a few that were posted on the internet …

John ‘Butch’ Dale

Dear Santa, no cookies for you this year. you need to go on a diet. how about soda instead?

Dear Santa, how are your reindeer? if you can not buy what I wont take it easy on your self just give me tens and ones … of mony.

Dear Santa, I want a order of french fries, a computer, and a chicken nugget.

Dear Santa, I want for Christmas is a little sister. but not right now. like in 2 years.

Dear Santa, I flushed my brothers head in the toilet but can I have a puppy?

Dear Santa, How are you? I am good. Are you friends with God? What do you want for Christmas? I would like a sumo DIno Legos, peace for the world, and $25,000. Merry Christmas.

Dear Santa, Please leave before 6:00am. my alarm goes off at 6:00. my stocking is on the left.

Dear Santa, How are you? Well, enough chit-chat. Let’s get down to business. This year I want a big space Lego set, some jelly beans, a sharks jacket and hat, any Nintendo game.

Dear Santa, if you want to grab a beer feel free to get the lot or just one. The fridge is near the door.

Dear Santa, if you bring presents with batteries, bring batteries.

Dear Santa, You better bring my pony this year, or there will be consequences.

Dear Santa, How are you and the reindeer doing? I am doing fine. I want a new football game and football because my little brother always trys to steal mine. he may look sweet but he is the devil. I also want a remote control car.

Dear Santa, When it was Saturday I thought I would try to be good the whole winter vacation. But it seems like I did not succeed. Will you still give me a present anyway?

Dear Santa I don’t want all the other nine (9) things on the list I sent to my father (dad). I only want the puppy. Every time I think about not getting a puppy, it makes me sadder and sadder. I just want one little puppy. Just one. All I’m asking for is one little puppy … Thank you if I discover a puppy in a box under a tree.

Now … if you didn’t receive the presents you wanted, you could have written a litter like this …

Dear Santa, i am riting this on the day after X-mas and i am very sad. i only receeved 1 of the 2 presents i asked for. Sense you ate my cooys i will asoom that my missing gift was a miss take. i will give you 1 week to fix this.