Text and Photos
By Shari Benyousky
Guest Columnist

Editor’s Note; This is the first of a new column series in which we road trip to explore the diners and dives of Kosciusko and surrounding counties.

“Ok, so how are we going to rate these places?” Banker Paul eyed a one-page plastic menu with a smear of dried ketchup. We gingerly sat at a purple vinyl table, the only patrons actually in the restaurant although I could hear the lonely sounds of one person bowling and the guffaws of bearded guys around the bar. We had embarked upon the lofty goal of road-tripping through diners and dives and bar food nearby. Someone had put together a list.

The last few years had been brutal on restaurants. Warsaw itself had seen many close their doors in the last few years. Yet, most of the places on our list had survived for decades. We decided upon Warsaw Bowl, popularly known as the Bowl Hole, for our first lunch. “What are the rules then?” local Used-Car Guy Chris asked. “Why do you have us along?”

How the Road Trip Series Began

One day after a Warsaw Breakfast Optimist Club, several members sat around a table at Creighton’s Crazy Egg drinking coffee and splitting a cinnamon roll with a stack of forks. The inevitable topic of local food came up and someone started listing off all the great local diners and dives. In five minutes, we had a list of twenty or so. We peered at it in surprise. “Has anyone eaten at all of these?” I asked. Negative nods all around except for one realtor who shrugged with a smile. Thus began the newest column idea.

The Bowl Hole

The next Friday I put out a group text request, “Who wants to come to lunch at the Bowl Hole?” And so, on an icy January, four vehicles pulled up to Warsaw Bowl at 1702 E Market St. The car salesman tried the door. A tall thin guy poked his head out at us dubiously. Clearly, we weren’t regulars. But when we told him we wanted lunch, he waved us in, and we settled around a purple vinyl table under a string of those giant old-fashioned Christmas bulbs.

I took out a notebook and a pen. Anything anyone said or did was fair game for this series.

“Do we need a rating system of some kind?” asked Banker Paul.

“Pre-beers or post beers?” asked Used Car Guy Chris.

“Hmm,” said Realtor Jeff sipping his ordered hard cider (which turned out to be hard lemonade in a can) “Half of the diners don’t even serve alcohol.” We looked over at the bar which was becoming louder as the patrons woke up.

During our hour there, no one else seemed to have ordered any food. The tall guy returned with a pad of paper. “I’m the only one working,” he told us. “But I can cook. Been working here off and on since 1979. Been fired four times and quit five. I’m old as wood.” The lone bowler rolled a ball down the lane with a crash.

Herschel, that was the tall guy’s name, was as good as his word. In a few minutes he returned with our choices — pork tenderloin, breaded cheeseburger, regular cheeseburger, and a shrimp basket.

“Can’t see how anyone can eat seafood in a bowling alley in the middle of Indiana.” Car-Guy Chris was aghast to see the shrimp.

But, other than the banker with the cheeseburger missing cheese, the food was as good as fried Indiana food gets. Crisp and golden and yellow. Perfectly salty. Even the shrimp was identifiable as shrimp inside its fried wrapper. We ate until Herschel returned. He had donned an apron, aware that something was up with us. “How may I serve?” he deadpanned and offered to take our group picture.

When You Visit The Bowl Hole Tips

Remember to order exactly the toppings you might want on a sandwich or it will come plain. You can bowl, play pool, or Arabian Nights or Creature from the Black Lagoon pinball after you eat if you have some quarters. A full lunch might run you $6.50 with a drink and fries. Dress in a hoodie or a baseball cap if you want to fit in.

Cozy Cottage

Next week the text request went out to the group again.

This time we included a few younger folks to join us on a Thursday at noon. We chose to compare the nearest diner, and Cozy Cottage stands half a block up the road from Warsaw Bowl at 1831 E. Market St.

Cozy appeared to have its tables filled with lots of young guys in sweatshirts and ballcaps, but also a fair number of silver haired folks in the orange booths along the walls. We pulled a couple tables together for our five and did some introductions.

“What is the most popular food?” younger member Job-Seeker Daniel asked the waitress. She informed us that the fried fish was their best, but that everyone loved the mushroom burger too.

“Oh yes,” she said, sucking the top of her pencil. “And the pie. Save room for the pie. It’s baking right now.” We all nodded. Room would be saved for pie. Noted.

We read the menu and joked about asking for vegan goulash — goulash was the special. The hardest part was deciding which side dish to order — Cozy offers cottage cheese, applesauce, coleslaw, macaroni salad, green beans or canned corn. They taste exactly like you remember.

We ended up getting a shrimp basket, an omelet, a breaded cheeseburger, fried fish, and fried country steak.

“Would you like to try some shrimp?” I asked Funeral Pre-Planner Britney when I saw her eyeing my plate with a worried look.

Of course, this caused Realtor Jeff to begin the first debate of the lunch: if you had to buy seafood in Indiana, would it be:

• Breaded shrimp at a bowling alley
• Shellfish from the grocery store
• Sushi from a gas station.

 

“Well,” inquired Social Worker Vickie, “are we rating safety or taste?”

“Absolutely risk vs reward,” Realtor Jeff amended. Breaded shrimp at the bowling alley won hands down. We won’t tell you whether safety or taste won out here, but I bet you can tell.

Food wise at our current location, we decided all breaded fried things were again a nice bet to order at the Cozy Cottage. The fried fish really did win hands down, but the fried steak and Texas toast was a good second option. The waitress returned. “Did we still want pie?” We did.

We ordered four pies — Lemon meringue, rhubarb, chocolate cream, and apple. Vickie cut the pies into five pieces each and we dove in. Even in my sugar and fried food near-coma, I heard the murmurs of surprise. Voting began in earnest.

“Well, of course, chocolate,” started Realtor Jeff.

“Obviously the lemon is last,” put in Funeral Pre-Planner Britney. “I’m not even sure I could tell if it was lemon with my eyes closed.”

“Wait a minute,” said Job-Seeker Daniel. “Have you tried this apple?!” We looked at the apple pie unconvinced. It was unremarkable looking, a standard pie dough top sprinkled with some white sugar. It was flat with the filling oozing out, still steaming from the oven.

“I might change my number one rating from chocolate to apple,” Realtor Jeff told us. “Although chocolate has been my favorite for 40 years.”

Social Worker Vickie was unconvinced. “I’m going to be the outlier here,” she said. “That rhubarb is pretty good, and the chocolate is weak.”

In the end, the apple pie received three top votes and the chocolate two. Next time we will try the malts. Who knows where that conversation will go?

When You Eat At Cozy Cottage Tips

You can get breakfast all day, save room for the pie, Pepsi not Coke, the place empties like clockwork at exactly 12:56. A lunch with a drink and a piece of pie will run you $10-12. Dress any way you like to fit in.