An Appointment With Death: Local Man Discusses The Inevitable At ‘Death Cafe’
WARSAW — Bob Jarboe wants to talk about death. The retired pastor, and current spiritual counsellor, is starting a forum to do just that: a local Death Cafe.
At a Death Cafe — a movement across the nation — people, often strangers, gather to eat, drink and discuss death. The objective is to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their finite lives. Through group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes, it is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session.
“It’s not a bereavement support group. It’s so people feel more comfortable talking about death,” explained Jarboe.
“We talk about birth all the time, but death is an inevitable part of life, too. It’s important to deal with it before the inevitable happens and talk about how you want to die. It’s an ironic saying, but everyone deserves to have a ‘good death.’”
Jarboe is no stranger to talking about death, day in and out. He is the spiritual counsellor at Kosciusko Home Care and Hospice. In that position for the past eight years, Jarboe talks with those at the end of their lives about their self-worth, closure and getting their lives settled.
A retired pastor after 30 years in the United Methodist Church, Jarboe says this line of work suits him better.
“It’s more fulfilling for me,” he said. “It’s more of a hands-on ministry to me. When it comes to death, that’s where the rubber hits the road.”
Although many would find working with dying people depressing, Jarboe says it is not.
“The people I talk to know they are terminal and our goal is to manage their pain and help them be satisfied with their lives and find fulfillment,” he said.
The first Death Cafe will take place on the next First Friday, Aug. 7, on the courthouse lawn. Those interested can contact Jarboe at (574) 372-3564 for more information. Jarboe will also make an appearance at Three Crowns Coffee from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Wednesday, Aug. 19.
“We’ll just sit down and talk. There is no commitment,” said Jarboe. “I’d love for it to become a regular thing.”